Self Improvement

Use Self-Compassion to Become More Confident

03/21/16 ·

As a society it seems we attribute high self-esteem with success. In order to have a successful career, relationship, and many friends it is understood that you must have the highest self-esteem. However, according to one scientific study we’re learning that high self-esteem isn’t necessarily attainable by being overly confident in yourself. In fact self-compassion, “a willingness to look at your own mistakes and shortcomings with kindness and understanding,” is critical to becoming happier, less anxious, and more confident.

The Benefits

The idea of self-compassion isn’t that we should set the bar lower or prepare to fail more often. Self-compassion is rooted in the idea that it is human to make mistakes and that’s ok. This kind of thinking, according to one study, found that self-compassion lead to “self-reported measures of happiness, optimism, positive affect, wisdom, personal initiative, curiosity and exploration, agreeableness, extroversion, and conscientiousness.” The act of self-compassion clearly has profound affects on the human brain and can rewire how we approach new challenges.

Be Honest with Yourself

Without self-compassion it can be difficult to evaluate yourself honestly. It can become challenging to peel back the layers of your ego to admit your own shortcomings. If you need to protect your self-esteem by telling yourself that the failure you had wasn’t really your fault you are essentially lying to yourself. There is no room for personal growth and the odds of taking a similar risk can be tainted. Self-compassion allows for more honesty. When you admit your faults and weaknesses, because after all you’re human, you begin to grow as a person and this growth can lead you to become a happier and more confident person.